With that being said I am going to continue this journey finding me. There has to be a balance. I love being a mom but long after the kids are gone if I hate the person I've become then I will never forgive myself.
" If you've lost your wings; you have got legs, keep walking. If you've lost your legs; you have got arms; keep crawling. If you've lost your arms; you have got your mouth, keep shouting. Lose whatever, but never ever lose your soul.
- Daniel Saint
I feel inspired to come out my comfort zone and do things I wouldn't normally do. Its true what they say about musicians who go through bad breaks up they write beautiful music. Not that I am going through a break up but I feel like I am grieving the death of someone that never died. It is the most bizarre feeling I've ever felt. Its distracted me from my art, from my kids, from my marriage from my whole life. I've decided only you can allow someone else to live rent free in your mind. Its time to pay up. I will no longer allow myself to feel hurt. I have learned a lot from this situation. I've learned that sometimes when you've hurt for a long time that one day one little thing can explode.
Hate is stemmed from hurt.
If you hate something or someone it is because you care enough about it or them to allow you to be hurt.
Well I'm done. I've prayed and will continue to pray for you. But now its time to focus on the important things in my life. And more importantly my sweet children and husband deserve an apology because I haven't been completely there in my mind for a few months now. So I'm sorry. I love you. I'm grateful you have been there for me. I'm grateful you never left my side the countless nights that I've cried. I'm grateful that my children have been so patient. I'm grateful for their love.
I will forever take bad energy and make it something positive.
We are not given a good life or a bad life.
We are given a life.
It's up to us to make it good or bad.