Being at home all day long with crazy kids is NOT for the faint of heart and when they say " It take a village to raise a child " they are so spot on! I don't think stay at home mothers really get the credit they deserve. This isn't to say anything against working mothers either because my hats off to you ladies because it would be so hard being away from my babies all day long especially when you don't have a choice. But then again I will admit I am a little jealous of you also. You get to get up everyday and go somewhere that you can have intelligent conversations with grown ups and you can eat your lunch in the quiet and maybe even catch up on light reading during your break. For me you see I get up everyday and dress the kids I usually find myself eating last or not at all because by the time we need to leave to run the errands I'm still fighting the 3 year old over her disfavor of having to wear clothes. I mean sorry kid but I can't let you go naked in public do you know what kind of looks I would get? Or begging the 5 year old to just let me attempt to brush her. Mean while the baby is still crawling around in his diaper from over night. Then we're off to run the errands and you know how that goes you go into to target for ONE THING! and you come out with everything from aisle 12 and usually its crap for the kids so you can SURVIVE the trip to store that your so needing so you can interact with other adults. Lunch comes and I'm basically sitting in a locked bathroom attempting to eat my lunch for the 5th time because as soon as you think the kids are eating their lunches and busy watching a movie well.. they're not actually they are basically breaking the door down to eat whatever you have because your food will always be better than theirs even when its the same thing.
Then there are the mothers who look absolutely perfect. I mean here I am at the doctors office with the kids. I still have spit up on my shoulder from the baby and peanut butter hand prints on my back pocket from the three year old who hangs on me all day. Lets not get started on the kids. I mean I'm just thankful the three year old is still dressed here people but I can't help it... That gorgeous mom that walks in with her three kids who sit perfectly on the chairs while mine are fighting over who gets to play with that certain toy that they fight over every time. She puts me to shame! I am jealous of you!
Here's the deal... To all mothers. We need to lean on each other. I mean literally help each other out. We need to stop judging each other. We don't know how things really are. Just because that one mom friend of yours works doesn't mean she isn't any less of a mom. She does what she has to do and that right there is an amazing mother. And the mom who you think looks like she has it all together that could be just a moment in time and somehow the stars aligned in the universe and her kids decided to give her a break. We never really know.
Quit the one upping crap. You know those cynical yet disguised remarks.. You probably know how it goes one mom tells the other how they finally got their 2 year old to potty train and the other chimes in and says they're 2 year old has been potty trained for a year etc. The snide yet silent and usually hurtful comments are the bane of my existence.
If I'm being honest there have been many times especially as a military wife where I have felt backed into a corner verbally by other toddler moms because their kid is better than mine. My husband quickly reminds me that not everything is as it seems.. Sometimes.. there are are underlying issues that we don't see. For me this is my notion that maybe I need to take a step back and realize there is work needing to be done on myself too.. This could be me or anyone realizing that they don't see their self worth for what it really is.
In the end we need to remember these little insecurities are tiny misconceptions in our lives that get in the way of us being the most amazing mothers that we set out to be. Remember that we are all trying to go the same place. We all want to raise amazing human beings. We all want to being amazing mothers and you know what we all need each other. I realize this as a mother of three, that us moms.. We need to stick together. Stop the jealousy and judgement. Take control and use it to your advantage to be better.